


Your hearts too big for your nation, and that’s ok

by Readinglass



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (briefly) - Freeform, Family Reunions, Like father like son, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), big of angst, no beta we die like men, time traveler karl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28910547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readinglass/pseuds/Readinglass
Summary: A father without the sun, and a son with a crumbling nationA reunion, in which The Captain comes to help Tubbo during his lowest
Relationships: Jordan Maron & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 11
Kudos: 141





	Your hearts too big for your nation, and that’s ok

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, first fic iv ever written for Dream SMP but i just. Had too ok? I need a Sparklez family reunion and if I can’t get one I’ll make one ig! I wrote the last bits very late at night so Apologies if their too OOC at points, I’ll work too improve on that ^^ enjoy!  
> edit - fixed a few lines / some spelling issues! apologies :]
> 
> Seconde edit 2/20/21 - decided to work on a second part ^^! So stay tuned for that

Everything is gone. His kingdom is nothing but ash and blood, and ash and blood are not enough for the seeds of life to sprouts where they once were.

For once, the air is cooler today. It’s been so long since explosives stopped permanently heating the air causing him to forget what the cold even felt like at points. As the soft, cool breeze drifted swiftly across. It took to gifting him a small reminder about his own humanity. The reminder he could still feel, and could still be human again. 

This reminder brought a soft smile to his face. The first to have been dawned by the king since his son held a soft grasp on his finger as he glowed like the sun itself, giggling about nothing as all was well, and all was right.

This reminder relayed one thing to the king. A reminder that struck a chord within his own heart and ricashahed throughout his body as he leaned up against the rusty, broken sword that had been shoved merciless into the stone beneath his feet.  
He was done being a soldier, and a king.  
Captain Sparkles wanted to be a father again. 

The sword would remain in the stone as he walked away, never to be found within his hands again. 

As he continued his walk he turned around for just a moment. 

This land was going to be his sons, a land where the sun would always illuminate the stained glass windows, letting him teach his son new colors that would reflect onto the red rugs that dawned the halls of the castle, would allow the flowers to bloom so the bees could buzz and the dew could evaporate letting him roll around within the gardens as freely as any child should. 

Life is not like that though, he knew that. That’s why he did what he had to do. 

Though many memories of before the war have disintegrated along with the remains of the kingdom, he still recalls with too much vividness the feeling of the weight of his son leaving his arms as he gently handed him to an angel.

An Angel who promised to protect him. Both from the knowledge of Captain’s existence, and from the demons like Rahu that would attempt to commit the sin of swallowing the sun itself. 

If he had died, he did not want to burden his son with the knowledge of his existence. The angel swore that until he learned that Captain was alive he would keep his existence a secret. 

It hurt to ask, he remembers, the words felt like thorns growing within his throat as he gave the Angel his last wish. The angel's head nod only served to sharpen the pricks of each thorn. Though on the walk and ride back, these thorns left. They replaced themselves with an excruciatingly empty and hollow abyss. 

He wondered if maybe the thorns needed the sunlight to grow. 

No matter how much they had hurt he wanted them back. He vowed to himself, and to his son that he would live. He had too. He needed to live. The only thing that got him through the war, both literally and metaphorically was his son.  
His dear beloved son Tubbo. 

And finally, it’s going to happen. As his horses footsteps trekked on each step echoed of pure determination. A few days ago, his main worry for the entire war surrounding his son was how he was going to find him. He had planned to go back to Phil’s home and see if they still lived there, and if not he would hunt for as long as he needed to find the promised land. Though, something had answered this prayer for him. 

Captain swiftly pulled out a compass from his back pocket, and the small envelope along with it. 

The envelope and compass was a gift from someone, someone he didn’t recognize. A collage of purples, greens and yellows handing him the first bit of sunlight he’s seen in a while. He remembers clearly the message he was given along with it as he rather Ungracefully tore the envelope open. Captain was used to having to multitask while horse riding, so glossing over the letter would prove to be no problem. 

Except it wasn’t exactly a letter, it was a postcard of some kind.

The front sent a shiver down his spine. It reminded him so much of his own kingdom. The sun shone like slivers of heaven through the cracks of the windows amongst the many tall houses that dawned banners and decorations that felt like Deja Vu of the stained glass windows of his old home. The ones that would reflect onto the red carpets now littered with blood and ash. 

Before he could reflect any further, he flipped the card over. 

Hi Captain! 

It’s me, Karl! I’m kinda rushing this postcard cause there’s a lot happening right and not enough space now but I left you a gift! It’s a compass which points right in the direction of a certain someone I’m sure you’ve wanted to see. (Thanks to Ghostbur for teaching me how to make one!) Right now you’re probably wondering how I know about your son, and how I know a lot of things in general. 

See it’s a lot to explain but let’s just say I’v become a real bookworm these days [ This line in particular, the Captain Notes, had a drawn thumbs up right beside it.]

That aside, I would love to write and explain more but I’m seriously running out of time here! He knows too much, I know too much, and it’s making my life much more difficult as a result…

But I think what’s important here is that he needs your help now more than ever Captain.  
So please, use the compass well!  
And if you have enough time, we should play Minecraft together! 

I hope to see you soon! 

Sincerely,  
Karl Jacobs

The letter should be worrying, and in some way it is. But Captain didn’t have the care to question its legitimacy. Not with the pure desperation festering within his heart. This compass felt like pure hope resting in his hand, it’s weight being the only thing that felt like it actually worked to heal the wounds that tarnished the skin that had been there… No amount of bandages felt like they could do the same as this one object. 

The person, Karl Jacobs according to the postcard, who gave him this compass somehow seemed trustworthy. Maybe it was the way the photomontage of a man reminded him too much of the windows left shattered, maybe the smile and reassuring grip he had on both items was making him reckless. Enough to trust a stranger that had just seemed to appear in a burst of green light and give him the one thing he’s been so desperately clinging onto as his sole source of hope in a land so barren of the sun, Not telling a soul about it. Maybe he was a fool for this. But he didn’t care, he could be tricked hundreds of times and he wouldn’t stop. No matter the cost.

He was going to finally go home. 

And that thought alone caused him to fold the postcard carefully back into its envelope. Take the compass out and use a small gold chain to attach it carefully above the locket that had been residing on his neck. The locket with a few cracks from explosions not meant for the battlefield and sword strikes too close for comfort.

“Don’t worry buddy, I’ll be there soon.”  
And for the first time since the eclipse, The Captain smiles with hope.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

His nation is gone, once again under his own rule his presidency has crafted nothing but a crater of soot and ash. A piece of land that solely exists to both mock him and affirm to him something he should have learned already. 

Dream was right, he was a complete failure of a president and of a friend 

His nation has not just blown up once but twice under his reign. Why? What was he doing wrong? Dream had said he was doing good, promised him so even but now…  
Why was it him anyway? God knows he did not select this path. He accepted the position thinking he would finally be able to make everyone happy again. Be able to create things to let everyone be able to smile just like they used too.

But all he’s done is cause hellfire to reign upon the land not once, but twice. He himself let open the gates with his poor decisions and suffered the just consequences of those actions. No one else deserved to suffer though, only him. 

Maybe Dream’s right, he seriously can’t do anything without making such a mess of it all. 

Tubbo is now sitting on the edge of a rock where his podium once was as his thoughts idle. Gently rubbing against the recently bandaged wound that dawns his chest right next to the one from the festival. Luckily, this one was only scraped and not as blown as the one neighboring it. He was incredibly grateful for this. 

Protecting Tommy was worth It though, he’d take as many rockets as necessary to keep him safe.

Tommy… God how he had messed that up as well, or… did he? Dream said it was the right thing to do then got… angry. Called Tubbo a failure despite being the one to convince him too in the first place.

As he sat there, the young president pondered these questions. Why he couldn’t be like the stories Phil had told him about when he was young. Is that why Phil had left him? Is it because Tubbo couldn’t be like the king with determination that rivaled the heavens themselves? What was the lesson he was supposed to learn? 

He held the bandages in his grasp, suddenly so aware of the small bits of blood seeping onto his fingers from his merciless grip. His head was pounding and the ground seemed to follow.

Until the soft sounds of steps behind him caused all thoughts to still. 

The president turned his head to the side slowly, expecting to see two bright blue eyes gazing back at him, a sense of familiarity that would ring a bell in his head. 

But the steps belonged to eyes of comforting unfamiliarity that rang a gong within his heart.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The Captain hadn’t traveled in a long time. As the war waged on and the conditions of battle continued to destroy the hopes of winning with each passing day The king hadn’t even considered traveling, except for this day in particular.

As time passes the Captain finds himself staring up at a large castle that is noticeable from quite the distance. The reminder it brings is one of guilt, but this at least tells him he is heading into the correct direction. 

As he continues to follow the compasses lead he eventually finds himself staring at a wooden walkway, one titled by a small sign dubbing it the “PRIME PATH!” He tilts his head in slight confusion but pays it no mind as he stations his horse right next to the sign intending to traverse the area unless the compass dictates he travel farther.

He feels his stomach begin to tie itself in knots as the compass grows more steady. The first sound of his step against the wooden path causes him to flinch. It was time to finally see the sun again.

It had been so long he wondered how he would look now. He wondered if maybe they dyed his hair or if he needs glasses now. Maybe he even uses sunglasses like his father. He wonders what hobbies he has now, what his new favorite flower is and if he still loves bees just as much as when he was a child. Each step brings a new question to the table the Captain can not wait to be answered. 

The compasses dial is pointing to a direction in particular but before he even begins to approach he stares at it in disbelief.

It is a crater, larger than any kind he had witnessed before. Even from this distance he could tell that the destruction was one of a kind. A kind of destruction only he had known to experience.

Taking the Post card out of his pocket he continued his walk staring at the post card and the explosion that stretched for farther and farther the closer he got to it simultaneously, as his steps began hitting the thing he had assumed he abandoned at the beginning of his travels not too long ago. 

Ash and blood.

As he finally reached what seemed like could possibly have been the entrance, due to the pathway breaking off around this point. He lowered the Postcard. In which it revealed a site, a temperature and a feeling that was painstakingly familiar. But the glimpse of a small tuft of brown hair brought back a sense of comfort unheard of for the Captain. 

He took a step forward, walking slowly as he dissected what his first words would be.  
He has thousands of things to say and only one sentence to put them all in. But he gains thousands more when he sees the sight in a clearer frame. 

His son is in a suit, tattered, ripped and missing his coat for it. He was covered in ash, with blood mixed in a few areas. His sobs are quiet in terms of volume but to his father they were painfully loud.

Seeing his countries covered in ash and blood hurt less than this. He didn’t want to see this site, granted the happiness from his son being alive did not drain in the slightest. But this site was still painful. 

He began to throw around questions to himself, why hadn’t he come home earlier? Why did he have to come to his son only while he was at his lowest in life? 

But maybe that’s why he’s here now, maybe he had to come when his son was at his lowest.  
He couldn’t save his kingdom, but he could save his son. 

So with a strider of confidence, he walked over and the words that came out felt like a burst of hope out of his throat.

“Tubbo…”  
His voice's confidence faltered as he couldn’t help the overflowing emotions from seeping out into the name as it escaped his throat. 

His son turned slowly, most likely worried about the unfamiliarity of the voice at first.  
His face scrunched up in confusion, then shifted into seriousness, then looked worried but not panicked.

“Uhm…” his attempts to hide his sobs were futile but the Captain pretended to not notice anyway.  
“Hello…? Are you uhh, are you new?” He stood up and wiped off a bit of the ash on his white button up. Captain chuckled in his own head, it’s funny how no matter the distance they still shared so many similarities. Some he’d prefer they didn’t for his sons sake but… he has to be positive here.

“Yeah, I am. Here, sit back down I’ll join you.” He said as calmly as possible. Despite his tone, tubbo of course looked him up and down but seemed to decide he didn’t seem to want to do harm. Or maybe he was desperate for company. So he sat back down and moved over a bit for the man to join him.

The Captain sat down right beside him and turned over to Tubbo. Though, the air was warm in a way that reminded the Captain of his own kingdoms air from explosives and fire, the winds were chilly. He shook off his red coat, that made sure to keep him warm during the colder months and placed it on his son’s shoulders with a gentle touch.

“It May feel hot, and it is. But it’s good to stay warm anyway for when the winds pick up.” Tubbo looked a bit shocked but nodded slowly and pulled the coat a bit closer.

“Oh, thank you.” Tubbo didn’t smile, but his eyes seemed to gain back a bit of a glow they had before. 

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo.” He turned back towards the crater for a moment but opted to turn back to his son after just a few moments of gazing.

“So… I received a postcard that looked like the image was taken around here. If you don’t want to talk about it I won’t force you of course but…” The Captain continued to speak, to give a bit of comfort.

Tubbo didn’t seem to respond, he looked lost in thought with a scrunched up face that looked like he was analyzing something, or attempting to dig for some kind of answer.

“Why are you so familiar?” The Captain raised a brow and Tubbo seemed to panic a bit.  
“Oh! Sorry I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It’s just uh..” he paused for a moment. 

The Captain chuckled softly. “No I’m actually really happy you feel that way. I don’t exactly want to beat around the bush about this.” Now it was Tubbo’s turn to raise an eyebrow.  
“Can I talk your ear off for a second kid?” Tubbo nodded slowly and looked with intrigue as the Captain cleared his throat.

“My name is Jordon, but I’m commonly known as Captain. Or uh Captain Sparklez as intimidating as that is for a king.” He gave a small chuckle to which Tubbo nodded with more intrigue at the mention of being a king. 

“I got the throne due to specific circumstances with the previous king, in which due to not having kids he messed with a lot of rules to make me- his highest army Captain king at the time.” He paused for a moment as Tubbo gave a nod pushing him to keep going. 

“Well it went well, I had a wonderful son, a good life, and the kingdom was as prosperous as I could’ve asked for. We had been producing a lot of goods way higher than most neighboring kingdoms. And that led to everything falling from there.” Captain chuckled once again, but it wasn’t one of humor. It had a distinct tone sorrow to it. “My son was the only thing I had left. But as time went on, I didn’t want him growing up in a kingdom that held nothing a kid should grow up with.” He turned out to the crater and back to Tubbo.

“But the irony is, it seemed to happen that way anyway.” His gaze became bittersweet, as the corners of his mouth became a small smile. Tubbo’s eyes widened as the Captain watched the gears turn in the kids head.

“I’m sorry, Tubbo. I should’ve came home to you sooner… and I’m sorry I didn’t.” He never left the kids wide eyes as he extended his hand to place it gently on top of his son’s head to give a comforting gesture as he watched his son process what he was implying.

“Are… are you saying I’m-“ He paused again but did not even imply with his movement to want to move the Captain’s hand that sat kindly atop his head. “But… but Phil said he found me in a box as a kid and-“ he cut himself off again and the Captain watched his expression become panicked, but soon became the same calculated gaze it had dawned a few moments ago. He was connecting the pieces, what a smart kid. 

“I told him too, I didn’t want to die and make you live without meeting me. But I’m alive, and I have you to thank for that kid.” at this Tubbo brought his gaze back to the Captain and raised an eyebrow again. It was obvious he was connecting his own pieces together.

“I… h-how? I couldn’t even save my own country i…” he vaguely gestured to what was once L’Manberg to which the Captain’s pupils shrunk as his eyes widened.

“Wait wait wait…” He paused “You’re the king…?” His voice was not one of disappointment, or anger he made sure of that. It was simply one of worry.

“President… technically speaking.” The words struck another sour note throughout the Captain. He was quiet for a moment as a silence filled with shared tragedy filled the air. 

Tubbo was ready for it, the ridicule, the discipline, the sour words about his own failures as a leader that were taunting him through both his own citizens and the scent and heat seeping from the shell of the formers country.

Before he could even speak another word the Captain carefully wrapped the other arm around his son and pulled him into a comforting embrace. 

“I’m sorry Tubbo…” his words were just as comforting as his clasp. “I wanted you to be free of the same fate your dad suffered and…” he went quiet again just gripping a bit tighter. “No kid should have to rule a nation, this is not your fault kid.” 

Tubbo, by all means should logically move away. A man implying to be his father is hugging him and apologizing. But Tubbo can’t help but cling back. He turned his head downwards. 

“I tried… I really tried. I did everything I was asked and… and everything I was told was right but, it didn’t work.” The sobs came out once again and the Captain gave a few soothing pats on the back.

“I know, I believe you would. Your hearts just too big for your nation Tubbo. And that’s not a bad thing, and never will be.” His words echoed through Tubbo’s head and he felt himself cry a bit harder as he let himself grip tighter.

His sobs finally broke when he started speaking again. “Phil- Phil would tell stories of, of a king.” He paused attempting to hold his tears back “a king dressed in red that did so many great things.” 

Captain paused for a moment and nodded as he let Tubbo continue. 

“I wanted to be like him. I needed to be like him to make everyone happy.” Tubbo paused as his sobs continued. “And I failed.”

“... Well that king you read about lost his nation too. To forces he couldn’t control. To things that just fell out his hands. Maybe he could’ve saved it, but he didn’t.” Tubbo’s sobs lessened in volume as he felt his grip loosen on the back of the Captains. “But he’s a king, an adult king at that. You’re just a kid, Tubbo. A kid with a heart no country deserved.” He tightened his grip on his son as he spoke. “You did well, the fact you are mourning the loss of the country for the sake of others shows me your heart is still as it should be.” The Captain paused once more. Feeling a sob almost escape his own throat as he spoke these words.

“I would rather lose my kingdom, than lose my son.”

Tubbo felt himself pause in shock as he moved back to look at the man, his father, once again. He wiped the tears out of his eyes as he nodded.

The silence was comforting, it didn’t feel awkward or tense it just felt... right. Eventually, though once the wind had- as Captain predicted- began to pick up a bit he turned back to his son and spoke.

“To be honest, I expect this meeting to go differently all things considered so how about this,” Tubbo looked on with intrigue as he waited patiently. “How about we take today to have some bonding time, catch up on things, make a base or anything similar and just… let’s have fun again. Put our destroyed nations behind us for a moment, and let’s just be Jordan and Toby. Not Your Majesty, and not Mr President. How does that sound?” Captain gave a soft smile to his son as Tubbo’s eyes lit up with relief.

“Yeah… I’d like that.” Tubbo’s loneliness practically answered for him. Plus he believed the man. Even if it was foolish to do so, even if believing people is what got him betrayed so often, he couldn’t help it. He believed him. That’s why he took his fathers hand and felt the first sense of family that wasn’t from a hand me down stack of tnt in what felt like forever. His presidential pin stuck sitting in between the cracks of the stone which he was leaving, to hopefully never return too.

There was a lot to do, a lot to say and a lot to figure out for the future. But right now, the two leaders wanted to step on lands for the first time in a long while on land not ridden with blood soot and ash. 

Because the seeds of life can not grow without land free of it. 

It’s time for the seeds of life to find new pastures within the reunited family. Two titles stuck in the stone to rust in their places.

The symphony would be finished, just in a different tune.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed :) if any of the CC’s mention dislike of any Fanfiction works alert me and I will take this down! Tysm! Also excuse any errors, please point them out!! I have rather poor eyesight :[


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